The worst is never that bad.
Too many people spend their lives in fear. The terrible “what ifs” plague our days. What if I lose my job? What if the love of my life leaves me? Several years ago my worst fears came true. I was worrying about losing my job and I got laid off. I worried about what I would do next and I got a new job and hated it so much that I quit. I walked out to my car thinking I would burst into tears (because what was I going to do? How would I pay my bills?). Instead, I felt alive. I felt inspired. I felt free. I finally realized that the worst is never the worst. My life opened up to something new and amazing (and I’ve never been happier). It’s the fear that ruins everything.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” - Frank Herbert
Don’t be the person who worries about everything. I can promise you that even if your fears did come true (and they most likely won’t) you would deal with it (and deal with it well). Sometimes I think we fear things because they make us feel alive. I challenge you to convert that fear into trust and excitement. Be excited by the unknown. Trust yourself that you will deal with every situation as it comes. Know that you can never truly be in control. Let yourself live and the path will become clear as you go.
Always take the high road.
I had a work experience the other day via email where the client was responding to all my emails with one sentence replies in a rude sharp tone. I would get things without punctuation like, “just not working for me.” I felt very hurt and offended. It’s funny how when people need something from you they start to treat you like a dispensable servant. I wanted to reply with a witty retort like, “well what do you want?? I can’t read your mind.” However, I instead took some time to relax and take the high road. My response was more like, “That’s okay! I’ll get to work on another draft right away. If you have something in particular you’re looking for, please let me know because I want to make it just right.” I felt great after. The result was outstanding for me and for the working relationship.
“I’m going to take the high road because the low road is so crowded.” - Mia Farrow
People like to take the low road and get angry because you think it will feel good. You think it will make the other person ashamed and put you on top. Unfortunately, taking the low road will always push you under others and lift them up. However, if you take the high road you always feel better. Unlike taking the low road (which feels good and then immediately bad), taking the high road feels great and continues to feel great every time you revisit that relationship. It also makes the other person respect you more. If someone is rude to you and you respond respectfully, it makes them feel like the bad guy. Everyone wants to feel respected, and if they look like the bad guy, they’ll start to respect you and get back on your good side. Really, I can’t think of a reason not to take the high road.
Note: Make sure you avoid seeming like an elitist. Don’t take the high road with a smug smile on your face. That’s passive aggressive and often worse than regular aggressive. You should be honestly and genuinely in control.
![Ghandi’s Top Ten Fundamentals for Changing the World [source: printabledecor]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lycxe13Qh11r8cgpmo1_1280.png)
Ghandi’s Top Ten Fundamentals for Changing the World [source: printabledecor]
Be thankful for everything.
Whenever something wonderful comes into your life you should accept it. It’s funny how often people push away things that are good. Never reject compliments in order to appear humble or undeserving. There could be many reasons why, but either way it’s a bad idea. Instead, take every wonderful, beautiful, flattering, and awesome thing in life (even if you have to dig for it) and store it away inside. These things make you better.
“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” - Willie Nelson
There’s are strong lines that mark between cocky and humble and self-deprecating. Nobody likes a self-deprecating mess and absolutely nobody likes a cocky person. The ideal person remains humble and in awe of every wonderful thing and person they find in life. You’ll know this person when you meet them because they will accept all compliments graciously and honestly but never bring extra attention to themselves. They will be full of confidence and want to know more about you. I think we should be more like this person.
Don’t waste life being jealous.
Jealousy is an interesting sensation. Since all human reaction is in attempt to be productive, what is jealousy then? It’s a defensive mechanism for sure. Humans want to be the best they can be, so jealousy is a natural comparative reaction that asks us - “Am I inferior?” The answer is usually no.
“Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.” - Mary Schmich
It’s obvious that jealousy is often over-analyzed and destructive to relationships and self-image. So, what do you do then? Don’t shove jealousy away. Don’t bottle it up! Instead, have some positive self-talk towards it. Ask yourself some questions (and be realistic and honest with yourself).
- What exactly is making me feel jealous?
- What about myself (or this situation) could change to make it go away?
- Is that something I really want?
- Is it realistic and am I being true to myself?
If something positive can come out of this feeling of jealousy, then do something about it! Make a good, realistic, helpful plan - and make it a goal you can be proud of. for example, if you are jealous of someone’s health or attitude maybe you can adjust your lifestyle. However, if you are jealous of someone’s eye color, admire them and move on. Don’t dwell on jealousy. If it can help you identify an area that actually needs improvement, good. If not, let it go.
Be bigger than the rest.
Should we be a race of people who objectify each other? Should we be a race of hate and greed? Should we laugh at other’s pain? Should we feed off our desires like animals? Should we hurt others? Should we constantly fight each other (physically and emotionally). We live in a world where honor is fading. Now’s the time to lift each other up and strive to be something more.
“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” - Emile Coue
Maybe it’s time to stop objectifying women (and men). Instead, focus on real beauty and respect each other. Maybe it’s time to stop judging each other. Instead, open your mind to new perspectives and try to make each other happy. Maybe it’s time to stop fighting and start solving problems with love. Maybe it’s time to stop and say, “the world doesn’t owe me anything at all, but I want to give something to the world.” You’re better than this.
Search for new perspectives.
I’m always ready to appreciate a new viewpoint. I find that most people are eager to condemn other people’s views and assert their own opinions. While there is some value in this, I believe there is 10x more value in listening and learning. I challenge you to respect and value the perspectives of everyone around you, even if it is incredibly far from your own.
“Shall I tell you the secret of the true scholar? It is this : Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
What good does it do to reject someone’s opinion and force your own upon them? It only makes that person upset and causes you to lose perspective. There is so much to learn from others. In many cases it would probably only strengthen your argument later in the game. I have so much respect for people who can debate both sides of an argument. If you choose to value other people’s perspectives you will definitely evolve more and more every day.
Embrace risk.
Do you really think that any truly amazing thing was every done, achieved, or gained without at least some risk? Striving to be the best in the world takes risk. Working towards dreams takes risks. Hiding behind false safety does not. Instead of working to a point of financial safety and settling, I hope you will start loving risk and find what it can bring to your life.
“Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.” - the Dalai Lama
Falling in love involves risk. Allowing your heart to open to someone can either result in great pain or great joy. Why then do so many people settle for the first tolerable relationship they can find and tie the knot? Would you sacrifice true love because you are too scared to be alone? Many people say it’s impossible to have a job that is fun, saying something like, “work is work.” Those people gave up to easily. Imagine if we all spent our lives searching for safety and fearing any risk. Our world would be devoid of Leonardo Da Vinci’s and Einstein’s. It would be absent of John Lennon’s and Gandhi’s. Great people take risks because they believe in something. They have passion and they embrace risk to explore that passion. A life without risk is like music with only one chord. Do yourself (and the world) a favor and start taking more risks.
[photo credit: joshua whitelaw]
